i may or may not be watching the land before time
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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