it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
