My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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