Umm I'm too high to move.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
