I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
