Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
