The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
