We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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