Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
