I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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