i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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