my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
