I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
