4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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