im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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