Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
