I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
