yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
