You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
