Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
