32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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