the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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