I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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