Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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