We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
