So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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