her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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