I got chris browned last night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
