I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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