She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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