Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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