I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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