I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
