me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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