so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
