i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
