we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
