lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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