I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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