I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
