I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
