i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
