I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He did a backflip because drugs
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