yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
