I could have mohawked her pubes.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
