it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
