I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
