Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
