Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
