so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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