i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize