Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
